One of the things I keep wanting to capture are all the little details about the kids… their actions, their words, their expressions of affection. I am continually disarmed by their ability to express themselves and show their complex understanding of their world and their own emotions.
This week Isabel started school again after the winter holidays. We had enjoyed such a wonderful and relaxed time during the break and were all preparing for getting back to the routine of getting up in the morning again (not that we ever sleep in too late, but our mornings have gotten gradually more lazy as the kids get older). On Monday, J got Isabel up for school and all ready to go. I managed to sleep in longer along with Leo and Anaïs.
That night as I was tucking the girls into bed, Isabel said:
“Mama, I never even saw you before I left this morning.”
“That’s true,” I confirmed.
“Mama,” she paused, “It’s probably better that way. It’s easier for me.” I waited to see whether she would continue her train of thought. She did.
“It’s harder for me to leave mama because I always want to be with you. The hardest is when you take me to the bus; then I just want to stay with you and not go to school at all. But then, when I go to school I have fun and I am happy I went. But I think I will always want to be with mama.”
My heart melted… as it does a million times a day with each snuggle, each cuddle, each smile, each tender moment. I was amazed by her insight and her ability to express herself with such clarity and depth. It reminded me of the many other ways in which she has captured an emotion, an idea with her words. Last year when I had to leave the kids to be with my mom, Isabel said: “I miss mama. But mama needs to be with Budi right now. If I was in the hospital, I would want mama to be with me also.”
I am truly, deeply, profoundly blessed.